elmattic

So, I joined the Twitter this month for some reason.  It's got some good peeps on it but Tumblr has more breasteses.

The thing is about the Twooter is that you get more insight into rappers' lives than you might want.  I mean, these guys are like superheroes or demigods, I don't really care what they think about the new X-Men movie.  And sometimes they drop straight crazy shit.  Shit that seriously fucks with my mentals.

Uh...you're the guy who had that one skit on that album where you made your girl pistolwhip you while you jerked off, right?  But you also have a deep appreciation for Woody Allen's late-period oeuvre?  OK then.  Just checking.

Yeah, that line on 'On The Eve Of War' when you said 'THOSE WHO DARE OPPOSE US WILL STAND KNEE DEEP IN THE BLOOD OF THEIR CHILDREN'?  I was all: that's totally a Hall & Oates reference.

Serious Paz?  Phil Collins? My wife listens to that Van fucking Morrison shit.  I look at her iPod and start weeping.  But even she don't fuck with Hall & Oates.

Blueprint--triple threat: he can MC.  He can produce.  He offers sound auto maintenance advice.

I seem to be following the wrong Joell Ortiz, since this one is obviously a database manager from Scranton.

Following Flavor Flav is pretty much what you'd expect.  He, uh, wrote a book apparently.  Or allegedly wrote.  Or this book supposedly exists.  But anyway his Twooter I can deal with, it's endless tweets of YEAH BOYEEE!!! and the above gnomic koans.  It's having him pop up on Facebook...

...saying shit like this, in between pictures of people's babies, that fucks with my mentals.

On the other hand though, I didn't know that on the Twooter you get steady drops of the fat comedy gold chain that is Kid Mero of Victory Light:

And that I wouldn't wanna miss on the regular.

For reals though, to be a musician right now you gotta grind this shit 24/7.  You gotta 'connect with your fans on multiple platforms.'  Just seems like a drag...why not be in the studio instead?  Because you can't.  Everybody's competing for your attention.  Pampers.  Wendy's.  Al-Qaeda.  Groupon.  Starbucks.  Sarah Palin.  That girl you went to high school with on Facebook.  The Revolutionary Council of Libya had a website before they had a council.

Everybody wants to be a trending topic.  Everybody wants to go viral.  I mean, why the fuck are The New Yorker and NPR covering hip hop all the time now?  To broaden their base and up the eyeballs.  Why do so many hip-hop blogs update 400 times a day with the same shit?  Gotta get those page views.  Shit is competitive as a motherfucker out there.

Not to get all Malcolm Gladwell on your asses, but it's like we live in an information tornado. You could call it an INFORMADO. THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES: INFORMADO.  Shit rolls in outta nowhere, consumes everything in this huge fucking maelstrom, and then disappears. What happens when you're the informado and it dissipates?  You be sitting in your wrecked-up double-wide crying and shit.  Like Odd Future gonna be doing this time next year.

Me, personally?  I gotta tone down all the chatter and stick to business, cause too much of it fucks with my damn mentals.

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